I Used to Believe in the Theory of Evolution

This was written my first year of grad school when by some freak accident of the universe I, at age 24, was housed with five 18-year-olds. My roommates would try to use their hairdryers every day in the same, which EVERY day would cause the power to go out. For a whole year, they never thought to plug their hairdryers into a different outlet. Not once. Even when I suggested it. Arrrrghhh!

I have been a Darwin supporter my whole life. I used to think evolution worked. Survival of the fittest makes sense, right? Well, not always. Some people are destined to do the same stupid thing, several times a day, every single day, with the same stupid results, and not learn their lesson. And these people with procreate and have stupid children.

For example, let's say that every day when you stepped out your front door, you fell down and got hurt and everyone else in your house fell down and got hurt too. Eventually, don't you think you'd catch on and start using a different door? That's classical conditioning, people.

That's not the actual situation, but really... people should learn faster. B.F. Skinner, I'm sorry, all of your research on conditioning has been rendered useless because there is a subspecies of humans to whom basic behavioral theories just don't apply.

Stupid people annoy me. Don't be stupid. Yay, evolution!

Rant: Ed Hardy

I despise Ed Hardy products. It looks like a tattoo shop on acid threw up and spray-painted graffiti on clothes. I just don't get it. He uses traditional tattoo designs, all with specific meanings and history... for what? Profit? To mae my eyes bleed? I particularly dislike it when people without any tattoos and who have no idea what the tattoos they are wearing on their shirts mean wear his products. They are so ugly!

Today, a short, hostile New Yorkian came into my work to argue about how his sweet, precious child could not havepossibly broken the rules, etc. He was enraged, the girl was crying, and all I could do was look at his ugly shirt. It was white, a size 300XXL, and also stained. I could not stop staring at his ugly shirt with some other guy's name on it. (Giant logos are a whole different rant!) At least it wasn't glittery.

If you love Ed Hardy, by all means, express your style, but I just can't get into it.

We've adopted!

Our family has adopted a new baby! She is approximately 9 weeks old, very energetic, happy, vibrant, has green eyes, and is black. Our new kitten, jinx, was found in a CVS parking lot by a high school classmate of mine. She (Jennifer) couldn't keep her because she has 4 dogs and 7 cats of her own.

When we got her one week ago, both my husband and 9-year-old cat Piper were very cranky, and I was in the doghouse for sure. (pun! ha!) Since Jinx was so little, she has no social skills and doesn't speak English. (Ideally, kittens should be 12-14 weeks old when separated from their mother to ensure proper kitty social skills). She is a tiny thing, and I suspect Jenn dosed her with caffeine before giving her to us, because I have only seen Jinx sleep 3 times in the last week. She is a biter, but she is teething and we are teaching her not to bite. It seems to be working (A puff of air blown in the face is a good, "No, no!" to a kitten.) She was litter trained and able to bathe herself when she was found, so that is excellent. She chases and tries to play with Piper relentlessly. at first, Piper was growling and hissing (as is appropriate to set boundaries), but was more submissive than I would have liked her to be. A good swat creeps in occasionally Now, Piper even shares her favorite toys and her food with the kitten without protesting. I'm not sure if this is maternal instinct or learned helplessness, but I hope to see kitty canoodling soon.

We originally tried to do the proper introduction by isolating the kitten for two weeks and allowing Piper to get used to Jinx's scents and sounds before a direct introduction. This lasted about three minutes with our ADHD kitten. We did try to keep her isolated in the bathroom when we were at work or when she kept Jeff awake, with plenty of toys, food, and a litter box, until she grew out of it 4 days after we got her. How, do you ask? I arrived homw from work to hear more baby screaming than usual. Typically, I would play with Piper alone for 15 minutes or so before letting Jinx out. This night, I let her out right away because she seemed so agitated. I opened the bathroom door to find the toilet paper all unrolled. Hilarious and adorable, but for the fact that the end of it was in her water bowl and had soaked up all her fluid, and she had made herself sick from being so upset. She's free-range now, and doing fine.

Pics to follow when Jeff uploads them. Baby Jinx has her first dr.'s appointment next week.

My new favorite thing

I love to read. LOVE it. My mom taught me how to read before I could walk, and I've never stopped. And I read FAST. I read books like they are oxygen.

Unfortunately, books are really expensive. I realized that in June, I spent over $150.00 at Barnes & Noble. Not good. I know that I could go to the library, but I like to own my books to re-read them. Inevitably, I have a lot of books that I purchased and ended up disliking, so they just sit, unloved, on the bookshelf.

I thought about organizing a book swap with friends, but I don't really know a lot of readers besides my husband, so that would be pointless.

Enter www.paperbackswap.com. ("PBS")

You join for free, post books you are willing to get rid of, and you automatically get two book credits. Each credit is good for one book on the site. You can request specific books that are available or make a wish list so that you are notified when they become available. When someone requests one of your books, you are notified by PBS email. You print out the label/wrapper, affix your postage, and pop it in the mail box. When the other person gets the book you sent, you get a book credit.

Holy papery goodness, Batman!

A new book costs around $14. Postage to send a paperback is $2.38. that's a whole lot of savings! I can't wait to get my first book!

Stacy vs. Wild

On Saturday, Jeff and I went canoeing with some friends, Matt, Bridget and Melanie, ad some of their friends. (That is such a strange-looking word.) The expert outdoorspeople that we are, the first leg of the six-mile journey was a bit like bumper-boats. Before Jeff got good at steering and I got good at powering the canoe, we kind of bopped from bank to bank. Due to the number of storms this summer, there were many fallen trees along the path. Some had to be limbo-ed under, others avoided, and most we bumped into.

Enter Tree Of Doom. It was sitting upright in the cool cedar water. Its breanches had been broken off, leaving innocent-looking branch stumps. We were meandering through the snake-like waterway when we realized we were going to hit it. It proceeded to jab one of its branch stubbies into my thigh. Hard. It hurt to the point of making me nauseous, but I knew if I physically reacted, I'd tip the canoe. I took it like a man. We couldn't get ice on it right away, so I have an epic bruise. Picture to follow when Jeff loads in onto the computer. It's deep purple and about 6 inches in diameter. It looks like I was beaten, or like All The Way Mae from A League of Thier Own.

Injuries aside, it was a pretty great day. Beautiful scenery and great company. I can't wait to do it again next year!

May Brides in NYC

Becca, Lisa Beth, Jackie and I met while wedding planning. We all got married this May. When Becca in Queens invited us to her housewarming party, The Tri-State girls, Lisa Beth from PA, Jackie from DE, and my Jersey self went to see her. After much reassurance that I wouldn't get mugged/raped/murdered and getting a fake wedding ring to wear (neurotic!), I rose at the crack of dawn to prepare for our day of fun. Jax and LB met me at my apartment, and after a quick Wawa run, we were off. Jackie expertly drove her just-12-hours-old new SUV, and we arrived safely in Queens. I never knew a city could be so beautiful! Becca's neighborhood is gorgeous, and her building looks like a castle. We said hello, and travelled to Manhattan via subway, ew, icky, gross. We wandered around Times Square, ate at Ellen's Starlight diner (with the singing wait staff, super fun!), and visited Central Park. It was the first time I had been there, and it was less terrifying than I had anticipated. I'd even like to go back someday to the fun part of it. Our day ended back at Becca's, where she fed us amazing food and we enjoyed great company. Good times!

Falling Again

My husband and I have been to two weddings in the last two weeks, two months after we were married. These events triggered many nostalgic, gooey, mushy, lovey feelings. It's weird, I never fell out of love with Jeff, but I feel like I got a love energy boost, kind of like the way I felt around our wedding. I almost feel silly. Or stalker-esque. Getting all teary watching him sleep is a little crazy, right? Maybe there has been to much love in the air, or maybe it's hormones. Who knows?

: P