A Christmas party at a college hangout when you're too close to 30

The other night my sister-in-law Gloria and I went out for dinner and some holiday, sisterly fun. There was an Ugly Christmas Sweater contest at the bar/restaurant Jeff and I used to eat at all the time in college, and I was dying to go (and in need of the prize money).

First objective: Where to find Christmas sweaters without having to buy them
Our dear mother-in-law is a teacher and wears a different Christmas sweater to work every day from December 1 through January 6. She's always encouraged us to borrow anything we need from her, so I asked to see her vast collection of knitted holiday goodness. She began showing me her newer, cuter stuff, but I told her I needed her oldest, most interesting sweaters. Done. I left with a fuzzy pom-pommed number for myself and one with demonic-looking teddy bear soldiers for Gloria that belonged to our great-aunt's 97-year-old friend. Awesome.

Second objective: Food, of course.
We met up at my apartment and proceeded to Landmark. We got there at around 9pm. Of course, I had called ahead to see when the best time to arrive for the contest was, and was told 9pm. No problem. They charged cover, which makes me mad when all I want is a cheeseburger and fries. We were seated in the waaaaay back, where they stash the old people. Behind the wall. So the young college kids can't be frightened by the sight of us.

Dinner was yummy and fun. It was interrupted by a former patient who spotted me and came over to say hello, and some fans of our awesome sweaters.



Third objective: Survive the bar.

Around the time that my food arrived, I realized it would be an ordeal not to choke to death in the fuzzy sweater. I rolled up the sleeves and resigned myself to the fact that I might choke up a hairball later. It is also around this time that I was itching beyond all reason and sweating.

After dinner, we asked the waitress when judging would be for the sweaters. she said around 11 pm. No problem. We can do this. I of course have no job to go to in the morning, but Gloria did. Did I mention this was a Thursday night?

We leave the table to walk around and intimidate the competition. There were some seriously lame Christmas sweaters. Only two guys came close to our magnificent outfits.




Meanwhile, I am still itchy and overheating. I can't even get a drink because believe it or not, nobody wants to serve a girl in a fuzzy sweater. Water. I need Water! We're tired. It's late. We're dying. And Itchy!

At this point, it's 11:15. where is the contest? We keep asking. Then the DJ announced that "Voting will take place in the Spot at 1am."

What??? I leave it up to Gloria because she has a long commute in the morning. she's a trooper and wants to stick it out. "We've made it this far!"

We proceed to nurse our drinks that we finally got and laugh at all the little girls who dressed up to go out. Not dressed up for the contest, but dressed up like... I don't even know what. Lots of them were wearing little tank tops. I was overheating in my Polyester, but it was freezing outside that night. Some of them were wearing long-ish shirts with no tights or pants. Odd.

Third objective: Survive the Spot.

The Spot is a silly, tiny "club" attached to the Landmark restaurant. When it first opened it was an abysmal failure because nobody at college was interested at all. They closed it, made some changes (added a "VIP" section, LMAO), and reopened it. I guess the kids liked it, because it's more popular now, I think because it's the only place to dance since the college knocked down all the frat houses.

After people-watching for way too long, we reluctantly go to the Spot to see where voting is. It's a dense, gyrating, hormonal, loud, 90's rap blur. We squeeeeeeze our way through the crowd to the back. Whew. We ask Giant Bouncer Man where we need to be for the contest. He grunts back that he doesn't know and tells us to ask the DJ.

At this point, I think my core temperature is about a million degrees. Game face. We're here to win! We squeeeeeze our way through again, but not before I get stopped by someone who wants to dance. I give him the, "Sorry, no thanks," shake of the head and flash the wedding rings. Did someone seriously just hit on me in this sweater?!

We make it back by the DJ. He has no clue what's going on. I see the VIP section (LMAO), and some glorious space and seating, so we camp out there.

Objective four: Stay awake.

Hilarity ensues. There is one of those dance-floor/stage thingies where girls can dance. we're sitting right behind it, front row seats. Still more girls scantily clad. One girl has a homemade "bling" necklace which is, not exaggerating, a foot wide and six inches tall. It read, "Mill St." I guess it's a really neat place to be. Another girl was wearing a lace black shirt with black panties and a black bra. That's it. Another was seriously checking herself out in the mirrors on the dance floor and taking pictures of herself for a good 20 minutes.

I am so tired at this point. I feel bad for Gloria, but she seems to not hate me yet. Watching the kids is keeping us awake. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a kid drinking champagne, complete with bucket of ice. I mentioned to him that I have never seen anyone drink champagne at Landmark before. Next thing I know, he sends over a glass, complete with head nod. Awesome.





It's finally 1 am! We line up with other sweater (sweating) people. There are some lame ones, and I feel really confident. After all, I was born to be on stage. I really think it's going to be between me, Gloria, and these two guys in granny sweaters. (One had doilies!) Gloria gets eliminated immediately because her sweater was too "cute and festive." huh? I last a little longer, but ultimately we lose to some guy in a plaid suit, which is annoying because it was not a Christmas Sweater!

We got hosed, but the memories last forever. : P

We never know what tomorrow will bring

My best friend sent this to me a few years ago, and I thought it was beautiful and worth posting... I'd like to extend the thought to all of my friends/fellow bloggers.

hi!

i'm sending this e-mail to a lot of people. some of you i haven't spoken to in a very long time, while others i've managed to keep close. but i have something that i really need to express. it's taken me a little bit to put all my thoughts together, but it's important. so here it is

last weekend, bobby & i had to attend a memorial service for a friend of his, matt boattini. bobby grew up as friends with matt & his older brother, chris (who is bobby's age). they met through lacrosse, and found a lot in common. for example, both of their mothers were rasing 2 boys alone, and the boys were very close in age to each other. mrs. boattini (theresa) & bobby's mom (diana) got to be very good friends, and the two families became almost like one for many years

of course, we all know what happens when childhood friends go to college - we lose touch, but not love. the coles & the boattinis grew physically apart, but kept in touch. than that started happening less and less as well, but the love was always there. bobby & all of his friends (he has a lot) stayed in touch through a sort of network - and still do. this one is closer to that one, and they talk more. then this one talks to that one, who talks to someone else more, and news of friends gets passed around that way

but anyway, matt's story is like this... he had a hard time with college at first, being more attracted by the pary scene, and was eventually kicked out. he struggled with goals & directions for a while, and made his way out to california, where he started "hippie school" (they teased him about it - it was actually an agricultural school). he graduated (!!!) and got a job on an organic farm in hawaii (not bad for a hippie)

the first weekend of february (almost 2 weeks ago), matt went with a bunch of his friends from the farm on a hike to a waterfall. along the way, matt was being his usual goofy self. apparently, he touched a rock in such a way that it caused it to dislodge. matt was pinned there, and all of his friends had to run for help (apparently hawaiian hippies don't carry cell phones). they got back 40 minutes later to find matt barely conscious. he was dead before they got to the hospital

matt died in paradise, doing what matt loved, being in nature. if anyone had asked him if he could live to be 80 in new jersey, or die at 25 on a hike in hawaii, he would have chosen hawaii

when bobby found out, he was, obviously, tore up. he said that around christmas time, he was looking through his e-mail address book and saw matt's e-mail. he wasn't sure if matt was still using that address, and thought about sending a msg. to test it out. needless to say, he didn't send the e-mail. it was really hard to go through that realization with him. i think it finalized it in his mind

we never know what tomorrow will bring, if it will come at all. i'm taking this oportunity to send out that msg. to friends who have been close over the years, from whom i have drifted, but who mean so much to me still, or are still very close to me. i'm sorry if i don't get to write as often as i think about you all. we made a connection somewhere along our travels, and i still feel it. why is it so difficult to stay in touch with people? is it because the ones that we care about most are the ones who will understand & forvgive? or is it just that life is too fast-paced? how long can there be no words from friends before you stop counting them as friends? i want to reach out now, to let you all know that i still care, i'm still here, thinking about you, wondering what life has given you since we last spoke/wrote. and if i don't have to wonder, i'm wirting to let you know how important you & your friendship is to me

so if you're going through your address book one day, and you come across my e-mail address, try it out, write to me. even if you just say "hi." i'll write back, and i'll do it a lot sooner than i used to. never pass up that oportunity. someone may be thrilled to hear from you again

namaste

love, a

Stacy vs. Wild

On Saturday, Jeff and I went canoeing with some friends, Matt, Bridget and Melanie, ad some of their friends. (That is such a strange-looking word.) The expert outdoorspeople that we are, the first leg of the six-mile journey was a bit like bumper-boats. Before Jeff got good at steering and I got good at powering the canoe, we kind of bopped from bank to bank. Due to the number of storms this summer, there were many fallen trees along the path. Some had to be limbo-ed under, others avoided, and most we bumped into.

Enter Tree Of Doom. It was sitting upright in the cool cedar water. Its breanches had been broken off, leaving innocent-looking branch stumps. We were meandering through the snake-like waterway when we realized we were going to hit it. It proceeded to jab one of its branch stubbies into my thigh. Hard. It hurt to the point of making me nauseous, but I knew if I physically reacted, I'd tip the canoe. I took it like a man. We couldn't get ice on it right away, so I have an epic bruise. Picture to follow when Jeff loads in onto the computer. It's deep purple and about 6 inches in diameter. It looks like I was beaten, or like All The Way Mae from A League of Thier Own.

Injuries aside, it was a pretty great day. Beautiful scenery and great company. I can't wait to do it again next year!

May Brides in NYC

Becca, Lisa Beth, Jackie and I met while wedding planning. We all got married this May. When Becca in Queens invited us to her housewarming party, The Tri-State girls, Lisa Beth from PA, Jackie from DE, and my Jersey self went to see her. After much reassurance that I wouldn't get mugged/raped/murdered and getting a fake wedding ring to wear (neurotic!), I rose at the crack of dawn to prepare for our day of fun. Jax and LB met me at my apartment, and after a quick Wawa run, we were off. Jackie expertly drove her just-12-hours-old new SUV, and we arrived safely in Queens. I never knew a city could be so beautiful! Becca's neighborhood is gorgeous, and her building looks like a castle. We said hello, and travelled to Manhattan via subway, ew, icky, gross. We wandered around Times Square, ate at Ellen's Starlight diner (with the singing wait staff, super fun!), and visited Central Park. It was the first time I had been there, and it was less terrifying than I had anticipated. I'd even like to go back someday to the fun part of it. Our day ended back at Becca's, where she fed us amazing food and we enjoyed great company. Good times!

Two Wedding-Related Events and a Baby

This weekend was a lot of fun! On Friday, I visited my mom as usual to do laundry (since our apartment's dryer is lame). I ran a lot of errands, but afterward, we did some serious crafting.

On Saturday, Jeff & I visited the Haddonfield craft fair, which was fun. I didn't get anything because it was a lot of the same vendors as the Manayunk Arts Festival that I go to every year, but it was nice to look around. Then, we went with Jeff's brother Steve and his fiancee Gloria to North Jersey for our cousin Katie's engagement party. It was fun to have the family all together, and it was great seeing Katie so happy!

Sunday was Gloria's bridal shower in Pennsylvania. I have never seen Steve so nervous, but he did a great job with arranging the surprise! Again, it was fun to have family around, especially Katie and Aunt Pam, who we don't see often enough.

Today was a regular icky Monday but with one highlight: My coworker Nicole brought in her tiny, one month old baby! Holy Hormones, was he adorable! It rounded off the wedding-related weekend quite nicely. Two years or so and I get to have one of those little guys!

Good mommy news!

My mom had her check-up yesterday, and everything was free and clear! This is always such a relief to hear, a huge weight lifted off of our collective shoulders.

I will concentrate my good-health vibes to my friend Kelly, who is currently in treatment.

Lots of love to both Mom and Kelly for being strong women.

Thanks to Monica

... for helping me figure out how to make the blog prettier!