Tuesday, September 29, 2009

I Used to Believe in the Theory of Evolution

This was written my first year of grad school when by some freak accident of the universe I, at age 24, was housed with five 18-year-olds. My roommates would try to use their hairdryers every day in the same, which EVERY day would cause the power to go out. For a whole year, they never thought to plug their hairdryers into a different outlet. Not once. Even when I suggested it. Arrrrghhh!

I have been a Darwin supporter my whole life. I used to think evolution worked. Survival of the fittest makes sense, right? Well, not always. Some people are destined to do the same stupid thing, several times a day, every single day, with the same stupid results, and not learn their lesson. And these people with procreate and have stupid children.

For example, let's say that every day when you stepped out your front door, you fell down and got hurt and everyone else in your house fell down and got hurt too. Eventually, don't you think you'd catch on and start using a different door? That's classical conditioning, people.

That's not the actual situation, but really... people should learn faster. B.F. Skinner, I'm sorry, all of your research on conditioning has been rendered useless because there is a subspecies of humans to whom basic behavioral theories just don't apply.

Stupid people annoy me. Don't be stupid. Yay, evolution!


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