The Colander of Love

Here is a love story from my life that trumps any Valentine's Day:

Once upon a time, Jeff was very commitment-phobic. My first year of grad school, I was 24 and we had been together for over 4 years. I was ready to make a big change, but he... wasn't. He couldn't imagine any benefit to moving out of his mom's house, where she cooked for him, did his laundry, and bought his underwear.

I was unhappy with this mentality, to say the least. I wanted more. I was ready for marriage, a house, kids.. all that good grown-up stuff. Alas. I was willing to wait a little longer for Jeff to come around, though not much.

At the time, I was living in a house about a block from campus that was filled with 5 18-year-old girls (that's a whole different story) and myself. They were gross, so I kept separate kitchen stuff that I would hide in my attic room until I needed to use it. I was seriously lacking in equipment, and it was a challenge to strain pasta with just a fork. Try it.

Jeff came by one evening with a little mesh colander, but oh so much more. You see, when he gave it to me, he said, "I got this for you, you know, I figured we'd need one anyway when we moved in together."

Angels singing, harps, the heavens parting, all of it! It was better than diamonds! I was so happy!

Of course when I shared this with the only two guys in my class, they thought it was hilarious that I would get so excited over a colander, which they dubbed the Colander of Love. They suggested I wait until I was given the Cheese Grater of Fidelity or the Spatula of Eternity, but I knew what the colander stood for.

The moral of the story is simple: "Love is expressed in many ways, even in colanders, and will come around when the time is right." Also, "don't look a gift colander in the...holes?" If you get a toaster as a gift, it might just mean that special someone wants to make you breakfast forever. : )

Our first Married Christmas

Christmas 2009 was so much fun!

It started with a Pollyanna at my parents' house. (I recently learned that "Pollyanna" is a regional term. It's a Secret Santa). Not only was this more budget-friendly than standard gift-giving, it was super fun. My parents, my brother, my sisters, my sisters' boyfriends, my dad's best friend "Uncle" Jimmy, Jeff, and I were all there. Seeing everyone's reactions to the gifts was great fun. I also made my siblings photo albums of childhood snapshots that I painstakingly went through and scanned into Shutterfly. I am the most sentimental of the four of us, so I was so pleased when they really seemed to like and appreciate them. Even RJ!

After Pollyanna, I went to church with Jeff's family.

When we were children, my parents dressed all of the kids in matching Christmas pajamas for Christmas Eve. It eventually evolved to my parents getting the pajamas, as well as the kids' significant others and Uncle Jimmy. (His birthday is Christmas Eve, so he always spends it with us.) I was so sad that this tradition ended last year, but Jeff and I have carried it on and get each other Christmas pajamas. (Non-matching).




Christmas morning, Jeff and I made the awesome hot chocolate that my best friend alyssa sent us from Vermont. Then, we exchanged gifts. My favorite gift was a poem that Jeff wrote me about spending our first married Christmas together. (Awwww!)

Then began Italian Christmas '09.

Round 1: Go to Jeff's parents. Exchange gifts with MIL, FIL, SIL, and BIL.

Round 2: Jeff's godmother and her daughter visit.

Round 3: Mom-mom time!

Round 4: Uncles, aunts, cousins, and their pals.

Round 5: Food. Lots of it. Tons of food.

Round 6: More food.

Etc, etc.

Overall, it was a wonderful Christmas!

Mixed Blessings

I lost my job last week. It is a really crappy situation, and I am scared about the future and how we're going to make ends meet. Jeff has been wonderfully supportive. I know that in order to get through this, I have to remain positive. Here are a few good things that have happened in the last six, jobless days:


~ My job environment had become really stressful. I know being unemployed is stressful and that I haven't gotten to the hard part of it yet, but things at work were starting to become unsafe for staff and patients.

~ I have spent a lot of time with my husband. Jeff and I have been able to see each other, have dates, and even have three home-cooked dinners in a row together! Unheard of.

~ I have gotten to hang out with friends and family! Like seeing my husband, my weird work schedule had been keeping me away from my friends to the point were I had forgotten how much I loved them. I've had dinner and laughs with college friends, I've gone bridesmaid dress shopping with friends/family, and I have had long-overdue phone chats with my best friend Alyssa. Alyssa lives in Vermont and I had become so busy and stressed/depressed with work that I had really lost tough with her, which felt totally crappy. I even have plans for a Thursday night out with my sister-in-law! Unheard of in my previous world.

~I'm catching up on cleaning. I even started to go through stuff at my parents' house. I found old pictures (which again made me appreciate my friends and family), got together a huge bag of clothing to donate, and got the Christmas decorations up (with Jeff's help, of course!)

~ I've been able to reconnect with myself. I have gotten involved in many old hobbies, and I am having fun. As soon as I finish a project, I'll post about it.

~ I am truly enjoying the holidays. With little money but lots of heart, I am trying to make my first Christmas as Jeff's wife memorable, for him and for the whole family. I am so sentimental. I hope everyone enjoys what I have been working on.

I am sure that when I run out of money and am unable to keep busy (even I can only re-alphabetize our DVDs so many times), the stress of being unemployed and looking for a job will hit me. Hard. Until then, I can't help but count my blessings.


Thanks for all of your support, friends. Oh, and if anyone has job leads, please send them my way.

Our 2nd Honeymoon

I mentioned before that Jeff and I were going to Disney in October. We had a great time! It was super hot and humid, but we had a blast. The staff there is amazing and reallytook the time to always make sure we had everything we needed. I highly recommend the dining plan. We saved a lot of money and were never hungry. We were there during the food and wine festival at Epcot, which was really neat. We got to try a lot of different dishes from all over the world. Tip: If you have the dining plan, save up your "snacks" to use at the food and wine festival. So worth it! We went to Animal Kingdom, Blizzard Beach and Typhoon Lagoon, Hollywood Studiod (MGM), Magic Kingdom, and Epcot. It wasn't crowded at all, and we were lucky enough that a few of our friends and relatives were there at the same time. We met up with Jeff's cousin Jim and Jim's girlfriend Trish one day, and spent a lot of time with our friends Matt and Bridget and their 4-year-old daughter Erin. It was amazing to see Disney through a child's eyes, as I never got to go there when I was little. Here are some pictures (Jeff had the camera and was a little stingy with snapshots):

We never know what tomorrow will bring

My best friend sent this to me a few years ago, and I thought it was beautiful and worth posting... I'd like to extend the thought to all of my friends/fellow bloggers.

hi!

i'm sending this e-mail to a lot of people. some of you i haven't spoken to in a very long time, while others i've managed to keep close. but i have something that i really need to express. it's taken me a little bit to put all my thoughts together, but it's important. so here it is

last weekend, bobby & i had to attend a memorial service for a friend of his, matt boattini. bobby grew up as friends with matt & his older brother, chris (who is bobby's age). they met through lacrosse, and found a lot in common. for example, both of their mothers were rasing 2 boys alone, and the boys were very close in age to each other. mrs. boattini (theresa) & bobby's mom (diana) got to be very good friends, and the two families became almost like one for many years

of course, we all know what happens when childhood friends go to college - we lose touch, but not love. the coles & the boattinis grew physically apart, but kept in touch. than that started happening less and less as well, but the love was always there. bobby & all of his friends (he has a lot) stayed in touch through a sort of network - and still do. this one is closer to that one, and they talk more. then this one talks to that one, who talks to someone else more, and news of friends gets passed around that way

but anyway, matt's story is like this... he had a hard time with college at first, being more attracted by the pary scene, and was eventually kicked out. he struggled with goals & directions for a while, and made his way out to california, where he started "hippie school" (they teased him about it - it was actually an agricultural school). he graduated (!!!) and got a job on an organic farm in hawaii (not bad for a hippie)

the first weekend of february (almost 2 weeks ago), matt went with a bunch of his friends from the farm on a hike to a waterfall. along the way, matt was being his usual goofy self. apparently, he touched a rock in such a way that it caused it to dislodge. matt was pinned there, and all of his friends had to run for help (apparently hawaiian hippies don't carry cell phones). they got back 40 minutes later to find matt barely conscious. he was dead before they got to the hospital

matt died in paradise, doing what matt loved, being in nature. if anyone had asked him if he could live to be 80 in new jersey, or die at 25 on a hike in hawaii, he would have chosen hawaii

when bobby found out, he was, obviously, tore up. he said that around christmas time, he was looking through his e-mail address book and saw matt's e-mail. he wasn't sure if matt was still using that address, and thought about sending a msg. to test it out. needless to say, he didn't send the e-mail. it was really hard to go through that realization with him. i think it finalized it in his mind

we never know what tomorrow will bring, if it will come at all. i'm taking this oportunity to send out that msg. to friends who have been close over the years, from whom i have drifted, but who mean so much to me still, or are still very close to me. i'm sorry if i don't get to write as often as i think about you all. we made a connection somewhere along our travels, and i still feel it. why is it so difficult to stay in touch with people? is it because the ones that we care about most are the ones who will understand & forvgive? or is it just that life is too fast-paced? how long can there be no words from friends before you stop counting them as friends? i want to reach out now, to let you all know that i still care, i'm still here, thinking about you, wondering what life has given you since we last spoke/wrote. and if i don't have to wonder, i'm wirting to let you know how important you & your friendship is to me

so if you're going through your address book one day, and you come across my e-mail address, try it out, write to me. even if you just say "hi." i'll write back, and i'll do it a lot sooner than i used to. never pass up that oportunity. someone may be thrilled to hear from you again

namaste

love, a

Falling Again

My husband and I have been to two weddings in the last two weeks, two months after we were married. These events triggered many nostalgic, gooey, mushy, lovey feelings. It's weird, I never fell out of love with Jeff, but I feel like I got a love energy boost, kind of like the way I felt around our wedding. I almost feel silly. Or stalker-esque. Getting all teary watching him sleep is a little crazy, right? Maybe there has been to much love in the air, or maybe it's hormones. Who knows?

: P

Jeff hasn't changed much since '91

My mother-in-law gave us Jeff's baby book (aaawwww!), and in the back was a self-evaluation that hubby filled out for school in 1991. It's hilarious. Some of it still applies:

1. I think I do my best in school: Yes AND No
If you said no, how can we help you? Teach me how to draw.

2. I try to help the class by: getting ready

3. Do you think you get along with the other children in your class? If not what can you do to change this? Stop talking and growing up

4. Working in groups can be fun. What do you do to help the group? giving pepol jobs (sic)

5. In what subjects to you need help? math

6. My favorite thing about second grade is Miss Cambell

7. My best subject in school is PE

Ha! Stop talking and grow up. Too cute.

Other highlights include a detailed record of all of Jeff's various accidents and emergency room visits, the fact that he turned over at 24 days, climbed stairs at 7 months, and walked on his own without coaxing at 8 months. Yeah, I can't believe I am going to have his children! I'm really in trouble..

Two Wedding-Related Events and a Baby

This weekend was a lot of fun! On Friday, I visited my mom as usual to do laundry (since our apartment's dryer is lame). I ran a lot of errands, but afterward, we did some serious crafting.

On Saturday, Jeff & I visited the Haddonfield craft fair, which was fun. I didn't get anything because it was a lot of the same vendors as the Manayunk Arts Festival that I go to every year, but it was nice to look around. Then, we went with Jeff's brother Steve and his fiancee Gloria to North Jersey for our cousin Katie's engagement party. It was fun to have the family all together, and it was great seeing Katie so happy!

Sunday was Gloria's bridal shower in Pennsylvania. I have never seen Steve so nervous, but he did a great job with arranging the surprise! Again, it was fun to have family around, especially Katie and Aunt Pam, who we don't see often enough.

Today was a regular icky Monday but with one highlight: My coworker Nicole brought in her tiny, one month old baby! Holy Hormones, was he adorable! It rounded off the wedding-related weekend quite nicely. Two years or so and I get to have one of those little guys!

Honeymoon: the sequel

Jerseymooning keeps getting better! Jeff, the excellent husband that he is, wanted a flat-screen TV, so he took on a part-time second job to save for it. He decided instead that he'd rather go to Disney World this fall! So, off to a second mini-moon! He's the best! We're hoping for good weather, since it rained every day but two on our honeymoon.

Other good news includes our cousin Katie's engagement party. It's a long time coming, and she deserves a great time! It will be exciting to see her, and her mom, who married us.

The honeymoon is over

Ahh, wedded bliss! The wedding is over (thank goodness) and we're a month and a half into married life. I've started this blog to document the hikinks of a broke South Jersey newlywed couple, as well as to pretend there are people who like to listen to me. I will throw in some social commentary because I have no filter, as well as the occasional book and product review from time to time because I was That Kid in school, the kind that liked assignments.


I have already learned so much about marriage! For example:

~ Getting married does not magically teach your husband where to put his dirty socks.

~ Nor does it teach a new wife how to cook. I have cooked a total of one meal for my husband since being married. It's something I will work on, but I am truly hopeless in a kitchen.

~ Husbands are really neat to have. Mine has kept a crystal vase that we got as a wedding gift filled with fresh roses since we returned from our honeymoon. I think his dad taught him this trick. It's not something Jeff knew how to do as a Fiance, but Husband Jeff is pretty good at it.

~ Having a new name is strange. It's like wearing a new pair of jeans or shoes that need to be broken in, except you can never take them off. I still feel strange around my family when I have to say or spell my married name.

~ Perfect strangers will congratulate you! I learned this in the name-changing process. It's fun, like winning a prize every time you fill out a form.

~ Wedding rings are Man Repellant. It's a very cool trick. Proudly wearing your shiny new wedding band, venture in to any public place where previously you practically had to go incognito for sheer volume of time wasted from guys hitting on you. It's magic! Nobody bothers you. Fabulous! It cuts errand time in half. An even more fun game is when the poor souls belatedly notice the rings. They wince, then sheepishly exit. Excellent. Disclaimer: This trick does not work with the kiosk people in the mall trying to sell hand lotion. Please email me if you have a solution to this pesky problem.